| that's when I think of you.
I went to the U.S. thinking, "its like here, and they're like us".
But its not, and they're not.
Yes its obvious, but it actually took me far too many days to figure that out.
I thought "San Francisco - party city!!!". I guess I had an image which was left over from the 60's. God knows how the hell that got into my consciousness! And I also had this impression that SF was this huge gay city, when of course its not. Its like many other cities, there’s the Castro, a gay ghetto (like Soho in London, or Canal Street in Manchester) and then there’s the rest of the world in which gay, straight and inbetweenies try to co-exist.
And as for a party city? Well there’s no alcohol served after 2 am a n y w h e r e. At one point I recall teasing my hosts that San Francisco reminded me a little of being in Cleckheaton. ;o) And if you prefer your stimulants to be of the Class “A” variety? Well don’t even go there. It’s a rich mans game.
Another thing that really struck me is that its really splintered over there. Everyone’s carving their own niche. There are lesbian bars, and gay [men’s] bars, and trannie bars and whatever bars. But the various groups don’t really seem to mix. And it’s the same at clubs and parties.
| Why do you have a girls name, when you’re a guy?
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Basically myself, Todd and Emma had a hell of a challenge when we where trying to plan our nights out. We can go to a gay party so Todd can meet someone, but what about Emma? Ok well we can go to the gay party first and then we'll go on to a lesbian party where Emma can meet someone. Ok, but what about me? Anyone know where theres a bi womans party?
You get the idea?
When we go out in England its no big deal because in England lots of venues are poly sexual (which is just how I like it!) but in the U.S. that doesnt seem to be the case. Not at all.
And when it comes to Pride itself, this is also quite apparent. For me Pride has always symbolised unity, with us all standing side by side, for one day at least, we’re all in the same gang. And what a bloody amazing gang it is!!! But over there, everyone has their own march, I went on the Trannie March, and then the following day there was the Dyke March, and finally there’s the Pride march itself. I’m sorry but I prefer the way we do it here, one march for everyone (if only the trannies would get more involved!). Separate marches just felt like a step in the wrong direction to me.
I really loved my time in San Francisco, I met some fabulous people, and I had a few experiences which really stretched me (which is one of the reasons why its taken a while for me to write this).
On my first night there, I was too tired and had too little time to get changed so I went out in drab. Late that night I found myself stood next to a very beautiful lesbian woman called Sarah, when she asked the obvious question "Why do you have a girls name, when you’re a guy?".
So I explained.
We talked and talked, but I think we were both surprised when it became obvious that when she looked at me, she saw Karol. I was just being me, and how I was dressed, my short(ish) hair, and my lack of makeup made no difference at all. She looked at me and saw the real me. It was amazing, yet at the same time it was quite natural and effortless. I’ve never had an experience like it, where someone who hadn't already met Karol could see Karol in me. And to be honest I’m still trying to think it through. But it was worth flying across the world just for that one night.
There where silly moments too. Like the time I bumped into a lovely bunch who were actually over in the US from the same tiny Irish fishing village as my parents. Talk about outing yourself! Wupps!
And totally out of your depth moments. The lovely lady who owned our apartment block invited us to her Pride party. As Emma whispered to me "its like The L Word, only 10 years on!" I have never met so many sophisticated, successful and charismatic women. I always worry about how women perceive me, and even more so how lesbian women perceive me, and in this environment I just totally overloaded. I could barely speak. Let me give you just one example, for most of the night I was sat next to one of President Clintons White House advisors (and no I didn’t ask about that intern!)
And a few tears too. Watching the last episode of "Six Feet Under". God, I cried and cried...and cried!
And it would have been a fabulous Flickr moment if you’d captured my expression after I’d just paid the entrance fee for a party (it went to charity) only to be told “I hope you’ll respect that this is a non-alcohol party”. Non alcohol party? Isn’t that an oxymoron? ;o)
Thank god Clara and her dear friend Katherine were there with their sneaky bottle of vodka. Clara’s a goddess. A beautiful Italian belly dancer with the voice of a horny angel.
Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine being serenaded by the most beautiful opera while walking the streets of San Francisco. I remember walking down the street thinking "God I love my life!" and its been a long while since I've thourght that. And she carried on through out the night at Eric's Radical Fairies party too. Just thinking of it now, sends a shiver up my spine. She truly is amazing. And did I mention she’s also a belly dancer, and err beautiful too? Wow.
San Francisco was fabulous. To see Todd and Emma again was such a joy, I miss them so. I’m back in London and they’re now in Hawaii. Yep, they win! ;o)
I met so many lovely people, and I also had to think again about a few things that I’ve previously skirted around.
On the night of Pride itself I ended up at the “End Up” and saw a group of TS girls who where simply stunning. They all looked like Playboy models. I was very drunk and very tired, and although I wasn’t jealous I still thought “god I so want to look like you!!”. I felt like a pale imitation. It wasn’t so much I wasn’t in the same league, I felt like I wasn’t even in a place where I could see their league from where I was stood. To put it in perspective, the piccie above was taken at that point in the night (2 am). I spoke to one of the girls to tell her how stunning she looked, and she actually seemed quite shocked at the complement.
Go figure. ;o)
[You can now see what I got upto in the gallery.] |
