And when I've a two line observation or thought I'd like to share, I seem to think "Well that's a bit weak, I'll wait till I've something a bit more substantial comes along". So nothing happens, and weeks go by without any updates...

So what the hell has happened?

Well Berlin was awesome! It was a flying visit to see my dear friends Mark & Mandie who seemed to know every musician and artist when they lived in Manchester and aren't far behind now they're settled in Berlin.

I've been to see them a few times now, and I love the laid back approach that the people in Berlin seem to have. I just wish I spoke some German, as it reminds me of when I was a child and my parents would be speaking one language and I'd be sat there, not really following what was being said but with a sneaky suspicion I was missing out on all the juicy bits of the conversation!

Saturday night gave me a chance to indulge a fantasy as I got to say "I'm with the band!" and hang out in the dressing room drinking cheap booze!

Friday was a visit to Insomnia, which I always described as a fetish club until my (still very lovely, ex) girlfriend asked me sweetly last year "Darling, why have you brought me to a sex club?". I could only explain that I hadn't actually noticed. But as she pointed out, most people might have grasped it was a sex club from the fact that lots of people where, well, having sex. Bit of a clue there!

So I guess I should describe it as a sex club, but since I definitely wasn't having sex, I'll continue to think of it as a fetish club!

Anyway its a great venue. Its what Torture Garden should be, venue wise (although I'm sure TG gets far more punters).

I've always had a great night there, although this one had a bizarre moment when I nearly got thrown out, as the bouncer informed me that they'd "warned me for the last time last week!". Which I must say was a bit of a surprise given I wasn't actually in Germany last week!

On the few occasions I've been in the past, I've been the only trans person there so I was surprised to see quite a few trannies there that night. We got chatting and it turned out that I'd picked the weekend of the German equivalent of Sparkle to visit. So Berlin was full to the rafters with trannies going on a boat trip on the Saturday night. They were all most impressed that I'd come across from England for it, even though I did try and explain that it was just a coincidence. In the end I gave up trying to explain and when we left it was to a cheery "See you tomorrow!".

But Friday was just a warm up. The main event of the weekend was my friends gig on the Saturday. I'd met a few of their friends and some of the band in Sisterbutterfly on my visit last year and it was lovely to see them again.

Now I've absolutely no musical talent at all so I've always had a huge admiration for musicians and arty people generally. I'm rather in awe of them I think. A few years ago I was gushing to Mark about how I really admired him and his musical talents, and he quite succinctly put it into perspective by commenting "Yes, and I admire that you can pay the rent every month!".

So Saturday night gave me a chance to indulge a fantasy as I got to say "I'm with the band!" and hang out in the dressing room, drinking cheap booze! Yay! Finally a rock chick, and international at that! Kazza the groupie, if my mum could see me now! lol

The gig was really good, the band playing all their own material about from one David Bowie cover. It seemed to go down really well with the crowd, and I was bouncing around at the front like a duracell bunny.

I have to say I was rather pleased at the after party when a few people who'd seen me at the gig mentioned that they hadn't realised I was trans. Of course it was very dark in there, but grab a complement where you can I say!

I also had an odd moment at the gig where I was chatting to a really charming friend of Mandie's when it dawned on me I'd bought one of his albums.

The party I must confess is a bit of a blur. Although a fab blur! I spent a lot of it with my two shiny new best friends, Miss Marilyn Monroe Manson, and the girl with the loveliest smile in Berlin, Mirika.

Eventually I staggered home, had a few hours snooze and dragged my weary self back to London. I really hope it wont be another 12 months before I get over there again. Although it may take that long for my kidneys to recover.

And after the laid back, chilled out bohemian lifestyle of Berlin, I returned to work and it was back to reality with a bump.

When I checked my emails I discovered that I'd put my previous weeks timesheet in late, and if it happened again I'd loose my job.

The email telling me what a naughty evil person I am, also went onto inform me that it was "critical" that I do my time sheets on time. The thought struck me that there are things in my life which are really important to me but a timesheet is certainly not one of them! And as for critical? My ars*! And if I ever start to think otherwise, then someone please put me out of my misery.

On a normal week, rubbish like that eventually grinds you down but it was in such stark contrast to my weekend that it couldn't touch me.

I mean, surely the worst that happens in this case is you don't get paid on time?

Alternatively it could be because some companies just have a rather anal culture. But of course I couldn't possibly comment on that! ;o)