I got turned away from a club on Friday night...

When we arrived, the bouncer explained to me and the woman I was with "Its a gay night tonight".

We just smiled and agreed, sure, whatever.

"No, you don't understand, its a gay night. Men only. No girls."

I got turned away from a club on Friday night... because I wasn't a man.

:o)

#2

Hours later, I'm using the mirror in the ladies loo of some pub when the cleaner walks in.

I bloody would you know!

Straight away she scowled at me and said "You shouldn't be in here!". Which is probably only the second time in my life anyone's ever said that to me.

I just shrugged and asked her "If not here, then where?"

Anyway, I was going nowhere. So I carried on putting my slap on, and chatted to the cleaner while she topped up the loo rolls and such like.

After a few minutes she was finished (of course I was no where near). And I could sense I'd won her over a bit. As it turned out, I'd won her over rather a lot.

As she was leaving the loo, she turned back to me and said "You know love, if you were a woman, I bloody would you know!"

I was going to say it was rather an odd weekend, but to be honest they're always like this.